I'm a big fan of ABC's now-defunct show Supernanny. I think Jo Frost is a hero for holding parents accountable and teaching them how to provide their children with consistency, discipline, and mature, loving attention. Clearly, the parents on my flight to San Francisco Friday afternoon could have used a visit from her.
It wasn't too long after I'd taken my seat that it became clear something was amiss - from the row in front of me, a scratchy little voice was yelling "quit it! stop stealing my DS!!!" and a smaller, higher voice was yelling "give it!!!" I assumed of course that the parents would intervene immediately, but when the screaming continued for 30 seconds without interruption, I stood up to see what was going on.
To my shock, I saw two little boys fighting over the tops of the seats of the two rows immediately in front of me, howling and playing tug-of-war with a white Nintendo DS. There were no parents in sight - I assumed that they were flying with one caregiver and that this person had gone to the restroom or something. It was at that point that I heard Nanny Jo's voice come out of my mouth."If you two young men don't quiet down right this instant and stop this unruly behavior, I will take that Nintendo DS away from both of you and it will go in toy jail until the end of the flight." Then I told them to settle their disputes like big boys and sat back down. The older boy gave the DS to his younger brother and sat sulking.
I thought nothing more of it until about a half-hour into the flight when I saw a diapered little rear-end disappearing under the tray tables of the row where the younger of the two fighting brothers was sitting. Confused, I got out of my seat and went to see what was going on. The adults in the row - complete strangers, not the parents - were seriously alarmed as a three year-old crawled across their feet. That's when I realized that there were three boys on this flight - all seemingly unattended by anyone, parents or flight attendants.
I bent down, "excuse me, young man," I began, "that's very dangerous. Why don't you come out of there before this gentleman spills his hot coffee on you?"
The boy informed me that he wanted his brother's DS. The middle brother gave me a look that said, "no way, lady."
I somehow managed to convince the middle boy to give the DS to his younger brother, and gave him my iPad to play with. It was at this point that a flight attendant approached me and asked if I was responsible for these boys. I told him that I was not, and that I'd assumed they were flying unaccompanied, but that I like kids and was trying to make sure they were safe. He told me that to the best of his knowledge, the parents were sitting elsewhere on the plane - I assumed they were with the youngest boy - and that if I needed a drink, to be sure to let him know.
About 15 minutes later, the youngest boy came running back up to me. "I spilled," he said simply.
Then it hit me: the parents were on the plane, but they weren't sitting with any of their kids. They were completely out to lunch, leaving their children including a three year-old baby in pull ups, to the kindness of strangers for the entire two-hour flight.
So I went back with the littlest boy to his seat and helped him clean the apple juice off himself and his seat.
At baggage claim, I saw the parents. They still weren't paying any attention. The three year old was calmly swinging his jacket around and around over his head, hitting passers by. Neither parent did anything - so I stepped in again. "Excuse me, young man," I said, "you could put someone's eye out with that zipper. You need to stop."
He did. Neither parent said anything. I got my suitcase and left, but I kind of wished I could have taken those three sweet, neglected little boys with me.
